Joy

Perhaps in retaliation for all those years her mother dragooned her into meeting so-and-so, who was sure to be her soulmate (or her mother’s idea of her soulmate, i.e. anyone who could claim Chinese heritage), Joy married a New York tango dancer 35 years her senior.

Caroline

“You’re not having contractions.” He rolls over, goes back to sleep. When she screams that she has to get to the hospital, he decides to humour her. The obstetrician mysteriously waves his hand over her abdomen, pronounces her not in labour. She gives birth shortly thereafter.

Janine/Heather

They held her up, and, blood pressure plummeting, Heather remembers thinking what a beautiful baby Janine was, and wondering whether she would live long enough to be able to hold her. The doctors finally managed to dislodge the recalcitrant placenta, and mother and baby were reunited.

Nickie

It wasn’t love at first sight. Her first thought, lasting 36 hours, was that he resembled a skinned rabbit, and she felt contemptuous of his feeble attempts to locate her nipple. Only later did the maternal instinct kick in, but once established there was no evicting it.

Les

Even Les’ wife says what a strange bird he is, but like a penguin, his oddities are endearing. I can’t even define what makes him odd, except that he’s an unlikely mix of politically conservative long-haired surfer-type musician who’s an expert on the Canadian shield.

Janice

Janice remembers walking along the pink beach, legs and feet obscured by the life blossoming inside her, thinking her life was perfect. Her husband eventually yanked off her rose-tinted glasses and threw them to the ground, where they were crushed under his lover’s stiletto heels.

Carolyn

The problem, Carolyn says, is that she is an all-season weekend hibernator, and may be missing out on life. Her sister worries about never seeing Carolyn after she retires, fearing that she will leave her burrow only to go to the grocery and liquor store.

Spencer

He’s short, and has hair and eyebrows that have gone berserk. I don’t know how he hits the right notes when he plays – he reminds me of an over-caffeinated muppet as he swings his head wildly, fingers pounding the keyboard – but he always does.

My father's mother

She addressed my grandfather as “Father”, which I found weird. And since he was diabetic, she would serve tasteless biscuits—even to us non-diabetics--for dessert. I’m sure there was so much more to my grandmother, but these are the things I remember most about her.

Pilates instructor

Subjecting us to physical agony isn’t enough -- the pilates instructor adds shards of quasi-wisdom: “Time passes more and more quickly the older we get, but that’s good, because we lose our independence and sicken as we age, so it’s better that death comes faster.”

Janet

Her highly developed sense of smell would have served her well as a master perfumist, but detracted from her travels in Southeast Asia. Molecules from the open sewers would send her olfactory receptors into ecstatic quivers, her brain responding with a less than enthusiastic “oh shit”.