The Grinch

The grinch stole my heart years ago, which is probably how he managed to triple the size of his. Like the Abominable Snowman, he started off naughty and ended up nice. Which probably meant, according to some, he finished last. Cindy Lou Who begs to differ.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

Chinese money changers

They’re the uzis of the knitting world, middle-aged women strolling down the street, rapid-firing out row after row. I first think it’s a sort of mobile sweatshop system, but they’re actually money changers. They probably unravel their covers every night, start over again the following morning.

Nina

Nina orders knees online from Arizona. When that source dries up, she finds a place in Ottawa that has them–but no information on who the knees once belonged to. She may soon have to resort to grave-robbing to procure body parts for her imaging studies.

The Athenian Masturbator

He stands in the bushes, adjacent to the spot on the path where the Parthenon tours end, climaxing simultaneously with the group’s applause for their guide. He doesn’t take a bow, but appears pleased with his performance and the audience’s unknowing acknowledgment of such.

Biff

It’s been said that people’s destinies are shaped by their names: e.g. people would probably be more likely to buy perfume from Jasmine than to have her do their taxes, etc. I can only imagine the hurdles Biff must have overcome to become a yoga teacher.